Hey, everyone. I feel very differently about things now. Not in the sense that I'm an entirely new person, rather, I now know what's wrong with my situation and what I need to change. The main reason why I was so sad beforehand was because I was blind to the point of missing the whole problem all along. I don't have horrible problems, especially since my issues will only make me a stronger person in the end of it. Let me start out by saying what has happened to me this past month.

    I went to a weekend event called Camp Anytown. I know what you might be thinking, "Wow, one of those 'youth camps' that are all lovey dovey and sunshine?" Not exactly. To be fair, it was so much more than the singing, dancing, and possitivity. The things I experienced at that camp should be experienced by anyone who has vision, and every person searching for the answers they need to make change. They release the tension to gain your answers, and from there, they can easily tell you a non-judgemental way to solve the small issues that lead up to the bigger ones. It's not just a camp; it's an incredible experience that so many more people should have the priviledge of seeing for themselves.

    With that, I've had some revelations about my own life. For example, I fear a lot. This fear can go as far as anxiety most times, and I do nothing but force myself to lose touch with others. Not only that, but I've learned that the opportunities are short lived, but life is so much larger than we may put the impression on. We have days, weeks, months, and years to make decisions; which is plenty enough time to come up with solutions. I've found memories that I was worrying so much about finding that I have finally let myself see; because I didn't worry.

    That's another thing. The very thing that has lead me to this hole I've dug myself into is worry, from the very beginning. Rather than living my life, I've been thinking about it; a whole lot. Months and years of my life have been wasted because I've overthought everything. I finally understand so many things I was only considering before, and I'm willing to give up what seemed so important before for something so much greater. I'm no longer investing completely in others; it's time I took a little time to myself to situate myself and fix these issues.

    Having said that, I have drawn; in fact, very much. However, I will most likely not be posting anything this particular month. Why? The stress of trying to keep up with my To-Do list is only going to continue growing if I keep susepting myself to the very addiction that has brought me to that somber, limited point. I need to give up DA for a little bit, and clear my head. I have to get that thought out of my mind enough to where I can clearly think about what I want to do and what I have to do.

    If you can keep in touch, that would be wonderful. Facebook, Skype, and other places I shall still visit on occasion. This shall not be permanent, but it will be a considered hiatus. I have to change, and being a fun adult will never happen unless I can also think like a serious adult for a bit. I apologize greatly, but sometimes people need space. This has been a weight on my shoulders, and I just need a short break. I love each and every one of you guys, but I fear for many more things now than I can handle. Please keep in touch if possible, and have a great month!

Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

Gabe

   Hey, you guys! It's been a while, really, and I've been slacking pretty hard. haha I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I've realized that things will be okay. Things in life are never easy, but that shouldn't stop any of us from doing something great today and tomorrow. I have more than I thought I did, and I just feel so stupid because of it. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. Besides that, let's get into the jist of what going into April will be like, shall we?

   This month has been absolutely crazy, and somehow fantastic in a bigger perspective. We'll be moving into Spring Break next week, and we finally get to see our siblings after 3 of the longest months of our lives. Needless to say, I cannot be online Saturday through Thursday. In order to manage as much time as I can with those kids, I have to stay off and take a little break. That's just not possible with things like electronics and the internet distracting me, so it will probably take a little bit to contact me until then. I think it might be possible during the night (if you can get a hold of me), but other than that I can't. If I draw anything new, I'm sure I'll post it by Thursday, Friday, or sometime after that.

   I've been doing a lot of rethinking lately, and honestly, I have more reasons to enjoy what I have than I do reasons to be sad about petty things. I looked through my old DA feedback messages back to the beginning from where everything started the other day, and I found something that I never realized before that moment. A glimpse of happiness. For the first time in ages, I could look back in time like a long reeling movie of flowing memories and it was one of the most extraordinary things I can say I've gone through so far. It opened my eyes not only to what I was missing by sulking, but by what I was forgetting along the way. I will NEVER let that happen again, and I'm devoted to get more consistent content out for the ones who still care.

   I follow almost every single one of you guys. That's because you all are not only really cool fans, but also amazing artists. Each and every person who gets to read this journal from their feed right now deserves recognition and my utmost gratitude. I've been really shitty to all of you, and I really should've been more appreciative of the community I have. All of you, right now where you see this, give yourselves a huge pat on the back and tell yourselves that you are just awesome.

   Through my time on DA, I have learned what being open minded about people and society means, and I'm glad to have spent so much of that time with you guys and with my family. I just wanted to say, from very deep down inside, thank you all so much for your amazing work and support. I cherish you all, and I love you guys so much! Because I'm unreliable, you all may never even know how much... I just really wanted to say, and I promise to stop stressing out so much about stuff that's not even worth it. heh I want to leave you all with a very happy Spring Break and a message to each of you individually: you make my life meaningful, and you're all worth it! Have a good one, you guys! I WUV U!!!

   I'm not the one with a problem that makes me so sad sometimes; I am the problem that makes me so sad. Tonight, by just taking a period of reflection, I have got something important to say. I forgot everything that once used to mean something to me on here, and honestly it kills me sometimes. I lost sight of my own path, and through that, I lost sight of the good amount of followers that are here and care about me and have for so many years.
   I miss you guys, all of you guys. I miss being on DA so much just to chat with all of the people that have met me and the ones who I've met myself. At first, I was aiming towards the goal of being in good company of friends and family; now it's a quest for family acceptance and fame. As much as I never wanted to fall for it, my foolishness lead me to less than the valuable relationships I once possessed and have now withered.
   If there's anything I would ask for back, it wouldn't be personal space or a shack somewhere out of sight. I would ask for one of the most important things I've realized in my very short life; to get back to when I was just me towards people, and the weight of life never seemed to matter. I wish to go back to when I cared so much for others intentions over my own and how much I love all of you. I know love is a strong word, but that's the only word I can use to describe it. The impact you all have made on my life is so tremendous and overwhelming that I guess I couldn't handle the pressure to deserve keeping it.
   I don't even deserve the number of followers I have on any of my accounts, because of the carelessness I had possessed over them is absolutely disgusting. For that, I am so very sorry for hurting anyone I might have in the past few months, or even years for that matter... I never meant to, and I feel so shitty inside because of all of the buildup sometimes. I'm very internally angry about most of this, but the main person I can blame it on is myself and only myself for letting things bother me so much. It's not even that I feel sorry for myself; I feel sorry for who I've ignored and who I've left to just deal with their problems.
   With that being said, I know all of my problems (stupid ones, very stupid ones) will go away with time and things might eventually get easier. If I ever got the chance to meet you guys, I would tell every single one of you personally that you are perfect just the way you are. That's not to say I don't believe that for most people, but just for the sheer purpose that you all are obviously people with similar views and good hearts enough to the point that some of you would take time out of your day to bother with a 16 year old who makes bad art on the internet. haha I'm not meaning to get all sappy, but some things I just couldn't even put into context through words. I just want you all to know that I love you all so much and I care about what we've done throughout all of these years.
   I'm done with the repetitive cycle of constant shit infused with non-rewarding desires, and I don't want to be this pretentious prick anymore. I just want to be me and let others know that I strive to make things better. In my life, you all have been so important to me and so inspiring to others (to say the least). The people I've met are absolutely incredible,  and the laughs we shared for many days and nights still fill my heart today. The drawing sessions I had the privilege to share with many almost seemed deserving, and that's no true nor fair.
   I meant better for all of this, but through my lack of giving attention and the increase of gaining attention, I forgot what it meant to be to have something as valuable as true friends. At my school, I have a group of people to hang out with, and the trust factor when it comes to that has just gotten to be so empowering and stressful. There's no direct communication and everything seems like it's said in the dark. I enjoyed having friends, true friends, that could tell me how they actually felt and in an honest and helpful way. Don't spoonfeed others.
   It's annoying, and most times it's incredibly unhelpful. Say something how it is; because people can actually learn and build off of that. You don't have to be brutally honest, just don't misguide someone with the fear of hurting them. Bullshitting someone is similar to throwing them in the lion's den thinking beforehand that it wouldn't end badly. It was obvious it would end bad, and you knew it. You can't blame him for not knowing better when you were the one who guided him down the wrong path.
   It's just not the same is my point. In fact, I'm just as bad sometimes. What I was getting at was that I feel like there's so much misunderstanding and miscommunication between me and people at school. I mean, I try to respect others and be polite while not making a point of disrupting their space. It's just that I was used to a different crowd, and all of this is disorienting and scary to think about most days.
   It's not even the work that's the main reason I never want to go to school. There's just sometimes where some people don't know how I deal with things, I guess, and I can't expect them to. Life isn't meant to be a picnic for anyone, and this is just one of those things that I have to progressively get over. The fact that there will be those who still approach me in a crowd to wonder how I'm doing after this is what scares me; not my problems themselves.
   To avoid the rambling of an asshole like I was just doing, I want to end this journal with a list of shoutouts to those who have always been there for me when the road seemed rough, so thank you:
Thank you...
 

  Hey there, friends! I just wanted to take a very short amount of time out of your day (sorry) to discuss, if you're interested, what has been going on this past month. There's no lie in the thought that discovery is just as refreshing as the house that keeps you safe. I've recently started to learn more through reading, I have started to show care and love towards everyone, and now I'm finally starting to lean my lifestyle in the direction that not only benefits myself; but others as well. Drawing is going just as fast as it needs to at my age, I'm reading something new every single day, the practice of meditation is on my mind constantly, and since this year things have been difficult but honestly better.

  Besides my personal life, art is slow because I'm just looking for an outlet and focusing on school has taken up a majority of my time. I've been getting better at the piano recently; in fact, I've been teaching myself chords without even knowing them, oddly enough. heh Honestly, the closer I am to this next weekend the better. Our school has finals this week, and both Thursday and Friday are half days. Maybe through that sense of accomplishment, I might be able to do something big on Saturday. Perhaps for you all, maybe?... Idk, we'll have to wait and see.

  My siblings aren't at home, but they are taking their situation surprisingly well. They are some of the strongest kids I've ever known, and knowing that they are handling all of this so well warms my heart at least a little bit. Nora can't wait to see us again, but unfortunately, that's months to come... It hurts, especially knowing how their birthday went (not great), it just reminds me of how much growing up we will miss of theirs. Seeing them everyday was so great, but now the only thing I can think of is the fact today is one day closer to spring break. Spending all of our time with them will make up for the lost time, but it's definitely going to be crushing at the end of it all.

  If it gets better one day, then maybe faith rather than hope is the way to go. I'm not talking about religious faith; just faith in life. Knowing that we make a difference everyday through a smile or a positive outlook can change a lot more than we think. Every morning we wake up, we can make the decision to have that be a bad day for everybody or a good day for everybody. The actions we make today will make an impact tomorrow, and that's a promise. Change the world, you all have the power!

  I know it's been awhile, so let me explain just a little bit. First off, however, hey you guys! How are things? I'd be glad to hear from you guys. As for me, it's been the usual business. I've been stressing about my little siblings a lot, I've been working on school, and I haven't released a drawing in weeks. In not complaining, but I just want you guys to know that I'm sorry for not updating for such a long time. No excuses anymore, it's my fault. I could have used my free time to at least write how I'm doing once in a while, as if anyone should care anyway. Hell, that's not even the issue.

  Next Friday, a trial will take place that will depend on wither or not I ever see my little siblings again. That's where my stress has been coming from. Next week could mean many things, and yet all we can do is wait for the outcome. Other than that, in my personal life, my school has actually been good for me. My grades are a lot higher than they've ever been, and honestly the opportunities I've gotten are great. I'm just  to be in school wither way, but it's better than I would've thought.

  Art has been slow, but it's been coming. Getting the time to complete any of it is all excuses, so why even bother? I'm working on a couple now, and I should at least have one of them up very soon. Other than that, it really all depends. I guess I just need this time to get my head together and school in check... I don't know, sometimes it seems like I just choose to complain about any old thing...

  I've also been trying to lead to a different lifestyle of spiritual being and reaching my true inner self. I need to do a much better job, but I've been really thinking about that. I wish to be that truthful, good person who actually helps people. The only thing I need to recognize is that takes work, and a lot of it. It takes years, usually, for people to find themselves.

  Anyway, that's it for my whining. I hope you all are having a very happy holiday this year, and I will catch up with you possibly this next coming one. Seriously, thank you all for sticking around. It's a mystery how I have managed to keep so many people throughout the years, and I really should act a lot happier on here. It's just rare to have a release for me, you know? I love you guys, and that's not stated any more than it actually is. You all are so great and wonderful in your own unique ways, which I hope you never forget. I wish it could be like the old days where I could just talk to everybody at once. haha Thanks for reading this far, if you did, and again I love you and happy holidays.  :)

Hey, guys. I'm sorry that the last journal I left for you guys wasn't the best news that I could've given, but luckily I've finally got good news for you folks that I think some of you guys might be glad to hear. I'm done with disappointment and regret due to me being an unreliable person towards others, so I'm going to try and get a ton more art out to you guys. I don't care if it's two sketches a week, at least something. I'm currently clearing my list of To-Dos for art, so that will mean that, in due time, I will be able to open up requests or, better for me, commissions (finally)! If I were to make a big decision like that, however, I need to learn how to get work done on the dot and right on time. Doing that right now would be a dumb idea for me, so for now I'll just stick to doing mah own thang. xP

   Also, I've had to put yet another halt on music production. The computer I'm currently using has sound driver problems like hell, and it has to get fixed at some point. So, no luck there. However, I have been looking into careers, and I truthfully think that being an animator would be the best thing for me. I love telling stories, and I love to draw. Being able to tell my stories in my way would be awesome for me, and I hope you guys are there to root for me to see that it happens! One more thing, by the way, to those who gave me there condolences...

   Thank you. You have no idea how hard this has been for me to get past, and being able to have such supportive people look over me on here is just wonderful. Thank all of you awesome people, you will all be in my thoughts. I love all of you guys, and the very fact that you guys have stayed with me for this long just shows some of the loyalty I have towards me. I've been so unappreciative of it for such a long time, I lost sight of what made me truthfully happy to be on DA. I started drawing a lot more since I got on this website, and it helped show me my calling. I would like to personally thank everyone who helped me through possibly some of the hardest times of my life, and I forever owe debt to the lot of you guys. If I forgot anyone else, please let me know and I'll be sure to add you. Thank you, just thank you!...

   Weekly drawings are in check, music is no longer in production for the moment, and you guys are great... Well, that makes the news for me for now! Thank you all so much for everything, once again, and I'll try and not be so lazy from now on. I'll try and at least make regular intervals of art posting, and I'll try and make it at least decent. haha I'll talk to you guys later, but until then, please stay awesome! I wouldn't ever want to see any of you change for the worst.

Yes, as of the end of summer school and after everything of mine is situated, I'm starting up production on Clide & Leo (along with other projects) again! I can't wait to see this dream come true, but in order for it to happen, I'll need all of your help... If you can get anybody to help, and I mean ANYBODY, could you please let us know? We would really appreciate the extra help, and it truthfully would. In fact, if it weren't for all of the obstacles, I would've loved to make this by now! I just really need the help, guys, and it would be awful kind of all of you to help put in a helping hand.

If we make any revenue off of the show, every crew member will get a fair cut. I will try and make arrangements so that every crew member can get a fair share of any possible money that might be made off of this idea, but please know that if you take the job and the pilot doesn't make a budget, that I fairly can't pay anyone (including myself). However, I hope we can work out details! If you have any other questions about how you can help, anything else that might be additional information, or if you might know somebody who could help, then I shall list some contact information below.

Email: gabrielnovakstudios@gmail.com

Skype: GNStheShow

Tumblr: www.gabrielnovakstudios.tumblr…

or practically anywhere else you can find me!

I just wanted to say thank you so much to all of those who have put so much time and effort into this idea, and to those who help us get there! I have the greatest friends and fans in the world, and I couldn't ask for more from them. Honestly, I couldn't have ever gotten here if it weren't for any of you! We would love to see independent content creators help us out, so feel free to ask questions and sign up, if you really want to! Thanks for reading, and I hope you all have a wonderful day!

I don't update this very often, huh?... How are you guys? Man, I've been going through some eye opening experiences in my travels. I'm starting a new, ending old habits, I've come across challenges in which I've had to overcome, I made amends with a great friend, and I'm working more than ever on catching up in my school. So far, things have been really mixed up.

I've had to deal with experiences I never thought I'd have to deal with before, and that can be hard. However, I've been slowly learning that your problems don't solve themselves; effort has to be put forth. From now on, I will be trying to make art more frequent and I'll stop blowing you guys off every time I make an update. I'm really trying to make things different, so I hope you guys are doing well, too, and that things will one day be resolved for most of us. I bet things will work out in the end, and I will end up resolving my problems rather than wallowing in my own self pity like I've been doing for so long.

You guys deserve content, so I've got new plans. Recently, I've been thinking of many ways to draw and new art techniques and ideas to try, and so far, I've been putting them to good use. I haven't posted much of my art on here, but I can assure you I am drawing. I want to try things I've never done before with my art, and I want to start taking things very seriously.

I want to go to college for art and animation when I grow up, and I believe that would be a great way for me to express my talent in a whole new perspective. I want to make cartoons for televison and, possibly, cinema someday. That would be really cool for me. I love your guys' support because it makes me believe that these dreams aren't rubbish and that they are very possible.

If I wouldn't have gotten that push, I probably would've never made a real thing out of my art. People used to always tell me that it was "stupid" and "foolish". Now I've started realizing that my ideas and interests aren't that. They are unique, and passion driving to me. As long as I think that, that's all I really care about. No more slacking, I want to start doing great things!

You all showed me that it's awesome to express myself, even in ways that society would deem "odd" or "weird". I've learned that being yourself is all you can be, because if you aren't going to be you, who is?... This all may sound very melodramatic and corny, but I really do believe all of this. I couldn't have gotten here without any one of you, and I feel very shitty that I've been neglecting my audience and taking advantage of it. You all are my light, my inspiration. I couldn't ask for that any more than how I've got it.

I'd like to take this moment to say thank you. I know I used to say it all of the time, but this time I'm serious. I love each and every one of you, and I couldn't thank any of you enough for your patience and support. I love doing this, it's practically my life! I couldn't have been here today if it weren't for any of you. It feels really good to make things for people, so doing this just makes me who I am. I'm one to help people, but this is the least I can do for all of you guys. Thank you.

I also might not do, "Crime Tarders", anymore. I'll release the first part of the first comic on my Tumblr and other places, but that's basically going to be it. I have no desire for comics at this point, personally, but for other people's I can help. I hope this doesn't come off as, "Oh, Gabe is really cancelling another comic after it's first page?! Wow, you don't know how to make a commitment, do you?!..." No, I don't if that means not wanting to do comics. I want to focus on art at this point. It wasn't an interesting concept to me, anyways, so that's that.

Well, I hope this makes up for everything! Again, thank you all so much for being there! It does mean the world to me, but sometimes I feel like I don't show it. All of my artist friends are, like, ten times more famous than I'll ever be, but I don't mind it. You know, I did it for the love of it when I first started. Now, it's starting to become a competition between me and my friends. I just want us all to appreciate each others styles and art and not have to worry about comparison. That has to be one of my main worries about art now, to be honest. Anyway, I hope you guys got more of an idea of how I've been for these past couple of months! BYE!

Hello, everyone! I haven’t been updating much, so I’ll just make this as short as I possibly can… I’m literally one day away from completion of the first comic, finally! I know you guys may not be looking forward to it, but making this update eases my conscience somehow so check out the page before it releases anyway. Well, I’m gonna go. See you guys later!

Hey, folks! It's Gabe, and I've been busy. I've just recently started doing some things for myself, as you guys may already know by now (new comic, drawing more often, crossing off forgotten requests, trying out pinups, etc)... I truthfully just feel that, recently, I've been getting a serious dose of life and I'm really trying to change for the better as a person.

I mean, I get it, I'm not very constant with my work and I'm not very reliable when it comes to things like requests, debts and collaborative efforts. However, I have been trying to get better. Hell, just the other night, Kerwin and I discussed bringing back "Gabs with Kerwin Adventures"... "GABS WITH KERWIN ADVENTURES"!... Yeah, you remember that?... Do you know how long it's been since I've even discussed that or even came so close to bringing it up!? Forever ago. I am also, actually, going to get a fan comic and a comic sleeve cover that I promised for a friend done after the premiere of "Crime Tarders".

I'm just trying to get stuff done for myself before I get stuff done for others, but it's really difficult being a freelance artist working for free and disappointing people constantly. I really feel bad, you guys. I do. Sometimes, I feel like I've failed at what I want to accomplish as an artist (or friend) and that I'm too far ahead of myself that I just can't go back to things that I need to improve upon.

You know what, though?... I don't like putting prices on things a lot. As much as that might fuck me over in the long run, I just don't feel right about that at this point in my life. I'm not at a legal age to work in my city currently, so this is just a hobby I do next to school (which has also been kind of difficult, but that's something that I have to pull myself through).

I also tend to get too apologetic sometimes, and I've been told by several other different sources that I'm just too damn quiet. Let me put it into terms like this: I will not speak, a lot of the time (in person), unless I'm spoken to. I just put all of my thought into artwork and comics, I guess... I don't know... These things tend to piss people off sometimes, but I don't even worry about that. What I'm worried about, really, is that I want to be nice and understanding towards others, but I just don't know if I'm improving or getting worse sometimes. Maybe I'm just not good at being social, but that's beyond me.

Anyway, along with the sob-story, you also get real news. I'm almost done with the template of the first part of "Crime Tarders" Comic #1. I've also been trying to get the ball of, "Clide & Leo" rolling again. I've really been putting the topic under consideration, and I think that I'm going to start working on the scriptwriting and storyboarding once summer starts. I hate making deadlines, but I'll make sure to make it around that time. Now, about the series... Along with voices, I had some serious trouble finding people who were willing to help with this project. I had also had troubles with the soundtrack, specifically. I started talking to somebody whose been watching my content for quite some time now and I learned beforehand that he was quite the musician (and artist)! He was really up to doing it, and I look forward to working with him when that happens. DFerociousbeast is a really cool and talented guy, and I think that he deserves a little praise for helping me out. I really can't thank the guy enough.

DFerociousbeast's Tumblr (Give him a follow, guys): www.dferociousbeast.tumblr.com

I'm also drawing some really cool stuff recently, and some of it is for people. That's right, real people! haha But seriously, it's going to be great... Well, I can't stress enough how much I want to get that comic done and I just want to thank all of you guys so much for making every bit of this possible. It's really my fas that got me here, and I'm truthfully more than appreciative. Thank you all so much. Anyway, I've got to go. Catch ya later, guys!